If it was that other girl, she would have had her bags packed on the dot. When the clock hit 4:00pm, she would have laughed aloud while breathing sighs of relief. Somehow, this combination of actions and behavior would have worked. Somehow, she would have done exactly this. I know this would definitely happen even though I am not the red blood cell running throughout her pipes feeling her organs, emotions, and PULP.
I am not like her, though. I am also not like her, though. I cannot run out the door when the rooster crows but ‘nor can I meet eyes with my lady boss and demand my rights, enough to be intimidating. Accordingly, I scrambled out the door with my backpack at about 4:11pm, believing I put in enough work for the day because I stayed around longer than I was assigned to. How was I measuring my efforts these days- by quality or quantity? Shit, I promised myself I would be a quality kind of girl when many relationships left in life became fruitless due to their quantitative nature. There was some sort of life “quantity” took from living nature whereas a little bit of Love kept the tank running for many people I have met now.
- Speakers vibrated with loud music, Bluetooth connected to my iPod, Childish Gambino keeping my closing eyelids open second-by-second.
- Indian Food: Lentils. So golden, brown, filling, sweet, milky, creamy. Every single cell that glutenous buns or sodium-dipped soups were SUCKING from my system, was replaced today.
- Silence. Watermelon was running down my food pipe ( I have never been good at Biology. Unless I google, I do not know what this pipe is called ).
- “Your mother, father, sister, and brother have left to Seattle. No, they did not let you know. No, they did not tell you they were leaving today. No, they did not ask if you were coming today. No, they did not contact you. They do not care about your potential emergencies. They are going as a family. You are no longer a dependent; you are no longer a part of this family. You are separated. You are your own girl and everything you wanted to be. They are gone without you.”
Nothing was the same.