A Lack of Reciprocation
A lack of reciprocation has kept me on my toes as if I have something to look forward to- self created but still there. A lack of reciprocation has kept my head down and humble feelings consistent- I have not what I long for and therefore, I am very much capable of empathizing with you, my fellow member of society. A lack of reciprocation has kept me soft- this lacking never hardened me. This lacking seemed to be my weakness but it’s many teachings have only made it my strength.
This lack of reciprocation breaks me from time to time, just when I feel as though I have mastered myself to a decent level. I am sliced at the knees and I fall. I shed tears openly, without resistance, for as long as I allow myself to and I search, in desperation, for something to inspire me to stand again with healed legs. After all, after all this work, I cannot be this way. I cannot be so tender, weak, and “broken”. This lack of reciprocation blurs my vision and I label myself with negative statements.
This lack of reciprocation has created my current existence; I live with this on a momentary basis. I breathe this lack of reciprocation and I walk this lacking. Yet, I succeed. I succeed with this lack of reciprocation and I acknowledge my blessings every day. Perhaps, it is due to this lacking that I refuse to take my gifts for granted. Due to this lacking, I refuse to take my pleasures for granted. Due to this lacking, I stay thankful for all that I have. Due to this lacking, I wish to view this world through other visions- give away the over flow of Love.
This lacking propels me to a direction where I am, perhaps, supposed to be. There, I reside, hoping this itch will finally go away. This itch will not go away, as it has become a part of my being, appearance, mindset- an engraving. This will go away the day I desire to cleanse my skin, perhaps, if it is meant to.