Looking at Me

Oh hey sis, do you want me to do your makeup today? What would you like me to apply on those delicate eyes of yours? Inside, I can’t believe you are letting me touch your skin; I can’t believe you are letting me stare at you so close. A month ago, you wouldn’t look at me because of the hate and poison your heart had towards me. Today, you are letting me tell you whether you are wearing too much makeup to school in the morning.

Did you just thank me for washing the dishes, ma? Did you just forget about all those days I stayed missing from the house when you needed me the most? Or about the times I kicked you out my hospital room because I had no “mother” anymore? Instead of counting this as my deserving, you are thanking me for helping you in housework today.

Anyhow, thank you for making me tea at 7 a.m. this morning dad when I never asked for it. I will not even take this with me to work because I don’t drink this tea but I can see you pulled this off after working all night long. Not twice did you think about the month I drew up my contract in this family; “I will not longer make your night lunch because I have personal obligations in life now”. I still remember the day I became “too old” at 18 to listen to your stories.

I will no longer bring you a mere mcFlurry and claim to be here for you, Jay. You slept with me a few days ago when my body would refuse to leave the bed and wiped every smear off my face; you fed me your Halloween candies and never thought about the moment I couldn’t read your report card grades because I was “too busy” texting someone. I look forward to our movie nights, golfing days, cheap eats, and basketball lessons.

And you from across this world? I know you are feeling at your old age and your legs are weak today. Yet, you pray for me every single day at every moment. I know you have thought of me when I left you, when I visited, when I yelled at you, when I cried at your feet- you have wished for my health throughout your life. I know you will sob out of happiness upon feeling my long hair, strong body, and peaceful soul. I will appear in front of you very soon, dear grandmother.

Today, I am truly home. Dear Lord, you have blessed me. Let us walk together, now.