I can not meet your eyes. I am sorry.
Many will ask to make it all alright, because I am supposed to have the capacity to do so, but I can not even look at you. I refuse to move from this place of shame, understanding this is my deserving place. I understand I deserve to second guess myself hereon after upon every decision. I acknowledge you did everything for me, and still I had you undergo this experience, disrupting the little sleep you somehow managed to maintain. She claims that one day, he will nurture you again; maybe, he may even forgive you. I nod in silence but realize, I do not view myself as worthy of such holy forgiveness.
Henceforth, to live peacefully would mean I successfully made it to their destination. I dedicated the remainder of life maintaining what they gave up on- my wellbeing, my health, and my sanity. To dwell in happiness would mean I handed them my long-awaited accomplishment and touched their feet in hope of blessings. To be at rest would mean I became strong enough to serve the world and protect my siblings, without losing myself. For their honourable reputation, I will never lay in bed with the lights off again.