What was it about me that made you run off to the other side of the world? I tried so hard for you and allowed you to shit on the clean side of my soul gladly as if it were your nest; where on Earth did I go wrong? I sit here today, in silence, unknowingly destroying my own close friendships because I am too busy thinking about your departure from my gathered life. I ramble day after day for something unhealthy to indulge in, hoping it will result in a fresh new version of my disturbed mentality: “Tabula Rasa” Seconds away, I am, from blaming a loved one for my current condition when it was only you who gave the remainder of my eyeballs a tear. Way to go, you fucked up demon.
I used to lecture you about the Love you filled inside of me when everyone else was responsible for challenging my patience and kind demeanour. Way to go, you fucked up demon. You displayed to me, alright, that I stated nothing but empty blabber to you. Words that probably meant nothing and feelings that you mocked because I wouldn’t be able to understand your language anyway. Way to go, you fucked up demon. You left me right where I started, or slightly worse. Day after day I will pretend that you are not up top looking down at me, laughing while I struggle to put on clothes in the morning because I drank my own sweat all night thinking about you. As I walk out of the society with a flat facial expression upon the 4:15 p.m. mark, I will pretend that you are not up top looking down at me, ready to continue etching yourself into my permanent memory. You torturous, fucked up demon. I love you.